Dont let go
by DahliaRose83
Summary: In the end he decided that he couldn t give up on his brother. Stefan had never given up on him and he wouldn t be in this predicament if it weren t for Damon. But he didn t want to do this alone. (Part 3 of my Dalaric-Series, companion-piece to "the morning after")


**Hey everyone, it`s me again. Welcome to part 3 of my Dalaric-Series. This time from Damon`s POV. Hope you like.**

Don`t let go

Damon sat in the living room of the boarding house, sipping a glass of bourbon and staring off into space. The house was eerily quiet. Too quiet. He hated this silence. No matter how much he berated himself for this feeling. After all, even if Stefan wasn`t off somewhere doing god knows what with Klaus, he wouldn`t be here right now. He would be at school and the house would be just as quiet.

It had never bothered Damon before. He had in fact treasured the silence when he had the house to himself. For decades he hadn`t given a crap about his brother, had only sought him out every now and then to fulfill his promise to make Stefan`s live hell. Why did he care now? Why did he allow those stupid feelings to rule him? He should just turn them off.

But even as he thought about it he knew he wouldn`t do it. He just couldn`t. Not only because of his brother, who had decided to play martyr and sacrifice everything to save his life, but also because of the other people he had come to care about. Even if he didn`t like to admit it.

There was, of course, Elena. Sweet Elena, who loved Stefan with all her heart and wasn`t willing to give up on him. Who was fiercely protective of everyone she loved and careless with her own life. Who had kissed Damon, when she thought he was dying. And wouldn`t she be surprised if she knew of the effect this kiss had had on Damon. That it had made him finally realize that he`d been only fooling himself, when he thought he was in love with her.

He liked her, yes. A lot. But love? Not really. He had been heartbroken over Katherine`s betrayal and Elena seemed like a nicer, better version of Katherine. He had been in love with that idea. But Elena wanted him to change, wanted him to be a good guy. Damon wasn`t kidding himself. He would never be the good guy. Stefan could become a ripper and go on a killing spree and everyone would forgive him. Damon only had to kill one person and everyone called him a monster. Elena would never accept him for who he was. No-one had ever accepted him. No-one but Ric.

Yet another person he cared about. More than he liked to admit. Their relationship was a complicated one. Alaric had come to Mystic Falls to kill him. But then Damon had killed Ric and his ring had brought him back. They had started working together, really just out of necessity. They`d had the same goals, cared about the same people, even when they were still hating each other.

And they both spent a lot of time drinking at the Grill. So it was only natural to drink together. Drinking had led to talking and Damon had realized, quite surprised, that they had a lot in common and that Ric was good company. The teacher knew when it was okay to talk and when it was better to keep his mouth shut. A trait Damon had only found in few people so far. Also Ric had a wry sense of humor and a sarcastic attitude that sometimes even rivaled Damon`s.

But what was most important, was that he understood him. And he accepted him. It was that acceptance Damon craved more than anything. It was what made him drop his mask around Ric. At least sometimes. He felt like he didn`t need to pretend, didn`t need to hide from the man. He could be himself and didn`t have to fear Alaric judging him.

So when he lay awake at night, unable to find sleep because he blamed himself for Stefan`s current dilemma, it was only natural that he went to Ric, eternally grateful that the teacher didn`t question him. He accepted Damon`s presence in his bedroom just like he accepted everything else about the vampire.

For a while it was enough to sit in the darkness and listen to Ric`s even breathing. But last night Damon had reached his breaking point, without even knowing why. All he knew was that it had been too much. Too many problems that needed taking care of, too many questions and not enough answers.

Unsure if he was doing the right thing by risking this friendship that meant so much to him, he had turned to Ric, hoping to forget his problems in the teachers arms. And he had forgotten them. At least for a while.

But the morning seemed to bring even more problems. He had snuck out of bed before sunrise, debating whether he should just leave or not. In the end he had stayed for breakfast and Alaric had kept quiet, although Damon had felt his eyes on himself a few times. He was sure the teacher wouldn`t mention last night and go on like nothing had happened. What he didn`t know however was, if he should be happy about it or not. Did he want to pretend last night had never happened, or did he want their relationship to change?

The ringing of his cell phone startled the vampire out of his thoughts. Taking a deep breath to clear his head he answered it. "Hey Damon, this is Liz. I may have another lead on Stefan." the sheriff's voice reached his ears. He hesitated only a second. "You may?" Liz coughed. "Well, from the description it could be him and Klaus. There were three bodies found in an old farmhouse, a mother and her two kids, all in pretty bad shape. Could`ve been a vampire, from what I heard. The town sheriff said it looked like a hurricane had raged through the house. There`s blood everywhere." Liz explained.

"Okay, I`ll look into it. Can you give me an address?" Liz gave him the address and wished him good luck. He almost laughed at the irony of that statement. Almost. "Thanks Liz." he whispered. And he meant it. She didn`t need to help him. She should be happy to be rid of Stefan and Klaus. But she had come a long way from the woman who hated all vampires, mostly thanks to her daughter. Liz was a good sheriff and a tough woman. He was glad to have her on his side.

After hanging up he just sat there and stared at the piece of paper he had written the address on for what felt like hours. He really didn`t know what to do. If he should keep looking for Stefan or not. In the end he decided that he couldn`t give up on his brother. Stefan had never given up on him and he wouldn`t be in this predicament if it weren`t for Damon. But he didn`t want to do this alone.

Ten minutes later he entered the Gilbert home to find Alaric sitting on the couch, looking through a stack of papers. Damon flopped down on the couch next to him and waited until the teacher had put the papers away and looked at him. "Liz got another lead on Stefan." he murmured.

"Do you want to check it out?" Alaric asked, without missing a beat. Damon hesitated for a split second, but then he nodded. After all that was what he came for. "If you`re game for a little trip." Alaric smiled at his words. "Sure. Just give me a few minutes."

Damon went back outside and leaned against his car to wait. "Ready to go?" Alaric asked, when he finally emerged. "I`m ready if you are." Damon shot back. He waited while the hunter put his bag into the trunk, before getting into the car.

The drive passed in relative silence. Ric had stopped complaining about Damon`s driving style ages ago. Maybe he had gotten used to it. Or maybe he`d just given up. They reached the farmhouse about an hour later. Three police cars were parked in the driveway, officers walked around.

"I didn`t know the police would still be here." Alaric commented. Damon just shrugged. "Neither did I." But he wouldn`t abandon his plans just because of a few cops. He parked in the driveway and got out, noticing that Ric followed him hesitatingly.

They didn`t get very far. An officer stepped in their way, a frown on his face. "I`m sorry sir, this is a crime scene. I must ask you to leave." Damon flashed him a brilliant smile and showed him a fake drivers license, before staring directly at him. "We`re from the FBI, as you can see. We`re hunting a serial killer and believe this could be his work. I`m sure you won`t mind if we have a look around?"

The officer nodded like a robot. "Of course not. Please, go ahead." Satisfied with his work, Damon continued towards the house, while the officer told his colleagues to let them pass. "I can`t believe you just compelled the police to think we`re FBI agents." Alaric whispered once they were out of earshot. The vampire just shrugged. "It was a spontaneous idea. You don`t have to say it. I know I`m brilliant." he bragged, hiding a smile at Ric`s response.

Both sobered quickly upon entering the house. Liz hadn`t been exaggerating. It really looked like a hurricane had raged through the house, smashing everything to pieces. There were splashes of blood on a few walls and more blood on the floor of the hallway. The other rooms looked pretty much the same. The worst however was the living room, which was littered with pieces of furniture and broken glass, the walls smeared with blood, the door ripped off its hinges and thrown across the room.

In the centre of all that carnage stood a large couch that had probably once been white. Now it was dyed a deep crimson. Sat on the couch were two women and a young boy, all three of them ripped to shreds and then put back together again. Damon only needed to take one look at them to recognize Stefan`s signature. Obviously so did Alaric.

"We should head back." the teacher murmured after a while, breaking the heavy silence and startling Damon out of his dark thoughts. The vampire just nodded, unable to get any word out. They left the house and Ric got into the car, while Damon compelled the police officer again, telling him to get rid of the bodies and declare it as a family tragedy.

They were silent on the drive back home. Alaric didn`t even comment on the fact that Damon respected the speed limits this time. The vampire was lost in thought, wondering what he could do to save his brother. If he could do anything at all. He had experienced Stefan´s ripper days before. But back then there had always been Lexi, who managed to pull him back time and time again.

Now Lexi was gone. Killed by Damon and he had no idea if he would ever be able to do what she had done for his brother. It was his fault Stefan had become a ripper again and also his fault that maybe this time he couldn`t be saved.

When they reached Mystic Falls it was dark already. He hadn`t noticed how late it was, too preoccupied with his thoughts. He parked in front of the Gilbert home and waited while Alaric retrieved his bag. All the while the vampire kept staring straight ahead, afraid of what his friend might see in his eyes if he looked at him directly.

"Hey, if you want to talk or... whatever. You know where to find me." Alaric offered, showing him once again that he understood. Damon couldn`t get any words out. He had never been good at voicing his feelings. So he just nodded.

Ric went inside and Damon could hear him moving about. Without really thinking about what he was doing he left the car and entered the house through the back door, like he always did when he visited Ric at night. The door was never locked, which was quite stupid. They knew of the dangers that lurked in this town.

But Damon never commented on it. Elena would probably tell him it was a Gilbert family tradition or something like that. Also he knew that locking your back door only gave you a treacherous sense of security, since it wouldn`t hold back a vampire, once he had been invited in.

Damon crept upstairs and into Ric`s bedroom, where he sat down in the old chair next to the window. Like he did most nights lately. He listened to Ric, who put his weapons away and talked to Jeremy, before entering his bedroom. If he was surprised to find Damon sitting there he didn`t let it show.

Damon knew that the teacher could see the pain in his eyes. He just didn`t have the strength to hide it, to feign indifference. He knew he didn`t need to. Alaric didn`t say a word. He just closed the door and walked over. Damon was up in a flash and they met in the middle of the room. He allowed Ric to pull him into a hug and wrapped his arms around the man as well.

For one night he would allow himself to be weak. And he would allow Ric to see that weakness. Pulling back a little he stared at his friend for a second, before crushing their lips together. Alaric responded immediately. Clothes went flying as they tumbled onto the bed and Damon lost himself in the feel and taste of Alaric, his drinking buddy, best friend and now his anchor.


End file.
